Dating after a divorce is just like getting back on the horse, right? It certainly is not the same as dating before marriage, and frankly, I think it takes a lot of courage on the part of both the male and the female to “get out there again.” You’ve got to feel ready to date, you need to find the right place to look for a date, and you’ve got to find the right one to date.
At least it seems those are the right questions to answer before dating, but I found – and you may have as well – that it’s just not that simple.
Popular belief in today’s society holds that the key to getting over a divorce is to find someone new.
Friends and relatives always had “the perfect person” they wanted to set me up with and went to great lengths to talk me into going on dates.
But what they didn’t understand and I found a difficult time articulating was a new relationship would not be the cure for the massive emptiness I felt from my divorce.
In my opinion, there are three key mistakes people make when dating after a divorce and I would like to help you avoid them.
The first one, and the main subject of this article, is very simple and almost always overlooked: Many people are simply not healed enough to date and begin new relationships.
How could I love another man when my heart was full of these unresolved, painful feelings? Then I’d put him back in the cell and leave him there until the next time I decided to abuse him. The worst thing about this was I was the one suffering the most from my lack of forgiveness.I expended an incredible amount of energy just being angry or upset.It also led me to believe that I could not trust men anymore, and that also had to be dealt with.A new relationship and possibly marriage would have to be, must be based on mutual trust and respect.Without it, there is nothing but a meaningless attraction. Forgiveness is a process and something I found I needed to do every day.The way I was able to achieve this was through practicing something else, too: acceptance.